Susan (wee_little_me) wrote,

Harry/Dumbledore Pedaphelia?!

Ok now no one jump all over me here, I dont want to rub anyone the wrong way.

For those of you who have read the 6th book while high (and i seriously suggest it for those who havent) you have probably noticed that nearly everthing said between Harry and Dumbldoor is a sexual inuendo.

I was reading along happily (second time through) and we came to the chapter where Dumbeldoor picks Harry up from Privet Dr. To my horror I realize there is a sexual inuendo in every sentence. Everything they say to eachother can be interperted as something pedaphelic.

Now my first time through the book I absoloutly hated it. I trutted along grudgingly telling all my fellow fans that whoever edited that rubbish should have smacked it back in Rowlings face and told her to do it over again.

Now it could be the stoner in me talking, but now that I read it again I have to admit its very clever! After I, you know, got over the sickened disgusting feeling of 'dumbledoor taking advantage of young adolescent harry'. Im not sure how I feel about this yet, but let me prove my case to you with an expert from Harry and dumbledore's next meeting (yay i got the book and can now spell "dumbledore" correctly).

Now read this as if it were a sex book, or at least as if you didnt know what they were talking about.

"Er..." began Harry awkwardly, but Dumbledore did not look too stern.

"I have arranged with Professor Snape that you will do your detention next Saterday instead."

"Right," said harry, who had more pressing matters on his mind than Snape's detention, and now looked around surreptitiously for some indication of what Dumbledore was planning to do with him that evening."

There was more than one sexual inuendo in that experpt. Shall we continue?

The circular office looked just as it always did: the delicate silver instruments stood on spindle-legged tables, puffing smoke and whirring; portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses dozed in their frames; and Dumbledore's magnificent pheonix, Fawkes, stood on his perch behind the door, watching Harry with bright interest. It did not even look as though Dumbledore had cleared a space for duelling practice

*ahem* how many were in there? lets see, instuments, puffing smoke (how erotic. Dumbledore you fisty man you!) and in a circular room with people watching all around. And of course the pheonix is watching him with bright interest. Hmm... However the lack of cleared space is a bit controversial. Perhpas this wasnt supposed to take place in the usual way? Or perhpas dirty under the desk is how Dumbledore likes it? Or against the wall? Or....I'll stop now.

"so, Harry," said Dumbledore, in a businesslike voice. "You have been wondering, I am sure, what I have planned for you during these - for want of a better word - lessons?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, I have decided that it is time, now that you know what propted Lord Voldemort to try and kill you fifteen years ago, for you to be given certain information."

There was a puse.

"You said, at the end of last term, you were going to tell me everything," said Harry. It was hard to keep a note of accusation from his voice. "Sir," he added.

This is a bit more difficult. Oh yes the 'lessons' part is obvious, but what about Voldemort? CLEARLY this is code. Lets continue to try to get a better hit as to what the code means

"And so I did," said Dumbledore placidly. "I told you everything I know. From this point forth, we shall be leaving firm foundation of fact and journeying together through the murky marshes of memory into thickets of wildest guesswork. From hereon in, Harry, I may be as woefully wrong as Humphrey Belcher, who believed the time was ripe for a chees cauldron."

Woa the murky marshes of what now? Yes theres the code. "memory" and "history" i suppose. Voldemort never tried to kill him, he tried to rape him.

"But you think you're right?" said Harry.

"Naturally I do, but as I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."

Now THAT is screaming of inuendo's and Im not going to point 'it' out.

"Sir," said Harry tentatively, "does what you're going to tell me have anything to do with the prophecy? Will it help me...survive?"

Oh poor harry was having trouble keeping the code up. Tentativly staring at his beloved Dumbledore, he wants to know if their sexual encounters will help him in the future to 'survive'. Yet unknown if 'survive' really means 'please future partner' or 'make a career in prodtitution', but its obvious he was trying to find a word that made sence in both code and inuendo.

"It has a very great deal to do with the prophecy," said Dumbledore, as casually as if Harry had asked him about the next day's weather, "and I certainly hope that it will help you to survive."

First let me point out the gramical 'error' in here: "help you to survive". Wouldnt, under normal circumstances, it have been "help you survive". Survive obviously being an adjective rather than the verb that is being used here. One would want to survive, not have survive on a list of many things he needs help with. I daresay that this is the most onvious indication that Rowling was having dificulty keeping the inuendo hidden.

Further, lets look at dumbledores reaction to the question: NOTHING! He almost expects Harry to ask this, and the answer has been repeted so many times over that its no longer a large matter. Forgive me, but if the matter being discussed was Harry's survival, perhpas Dumbledore shouldnt be 'getting old' with the scenario. And seeing as though this question has never been posed to Dumbledore to begin with why is he bored of the responce already?

Once again, inuendo.

They arent talking about harry's survival. Theyre clearly discussing his 'lessons' in sex, something Dumbledore has done to/for many students before Harry.

Dumbledore got to his feet and walked around the desk, past Harry, who turned eagerly in his seat to watch Dumbledore bending over the cabinet beside the doore.

Self-explanitory. NO QUESTION about the inuendo's here.

When Dumbledore straitened up, he was holding a familiar shallow stone basin etched with odd markings around its rim. He placed the pensive on the desk in front of Harry.

Sounds like Rowling is making an attempt to describe a magical sextoy. Basin, needs something to be inserted. Funny, guys have something they like to insert into things. Odd marking? Well those could be anything from kinky spells to pictures of positions to instructions on how to use the device.

And he placed it on the desk in front of Harry. Yes, he wants Harry to study it well. Rowling is giving a play-by-play of an intsense sex scene that we all (most) have missed. This entire scene can be re-done, using the same lines, the same actions rowlingh as described, and it would be an openinc scene to a very intsense porn movie.

"You look worried."

Harry had indeed been eyeing the pensive with some apprehension. His previous experiences with the odd device that stored and revealed thoughts and memories, though highly instructive, had also been uncomfortable. The last time he had distrubed the contents, he had seen muchmore thanhe would have wished. But Dumbedore was smiling

Once again, I dont need to explain how every other word here is dripping of inuendos. Though if I may add a little something that I think Rowling might have edited out (for obvious reasons) "revealed thoughts and fantasies, though highly instructive, had also been uncomfortable"

"This time, you enter the Pensive with me...and, even more unusually, with permission."


ps. I am NOT saying that Rowling intended on putting the inuendo's in there. Ok I did say that, but that was fore mood. Im just saying theyre there. And the book reaks of it.
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